Pastor’s Corner: When It Hurts

Tears flow from a marble sculpted face.

August 7, 2019

What do we do when someone says, “it hurts”?

Of late, and over my lifetime, I think I’ve seen four basic responses.

The first is to say, “I’m sorry. I won’t do this thing that hurts you any more. I might even help you repair the harm I’ve done.”

A second is to say, “My action wasn’t intended to hurt you. Therefore, it shouldn’t hurt you. And I’m going to keep doing it.”

A third response: “No, no. This shouldn’t hurt anyone. Therefore, you’re not hurt. I’ll keep doing it.”

And a fourth: “Oh. This hurts you? Well, I want to keep doing this thing I’m doing. Your pain is a price I’m willing to pay.”

Has anyone ever told you that your pain wasn’t real? Or that it wasn’t important? Has anyone ever told you that you should pay more regard to someone’s intentions than their actual impact on you? Has anyone ever told you that it’s OK that you suffer for their desires?

I’m sure you’ve heard all these things.

I’m sure you can think of numerous items in the news when someone has said, “It hurts” – and they’ve been told it wasn’t intentional, or it wasn’t real, or it didn’t matter. I’m sure you can think of times people have been told that they will continue to suffer.

Here’s the question for you and for me: When someone told us, “It hurts,” what did we reply?

How often was it, “I’m sorry”?

With aloha,

Pastor Eric

The photo is a detail of the Entombment of Christ, 1672, in Saint-Martin Church in Arc-en-Barrois (Haute-Marne, France). Photo by Vassil – Own work, CC BY 3.0,

Categories Pastor's Corner Reflections | Tags: , | Posted on August 7, 2019

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